Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
