i barfeds in our rink
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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