so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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