can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
