HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
