super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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