I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
