bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She told me I should be a condom model.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
