JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
