I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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