STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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