A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
