Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
this will be a night to untag.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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