...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
