After last night, I could never be a politician.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize