they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
