I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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