I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize