You smell like a Billy Joel song
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize