My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
