East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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