There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
