She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
