nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
