What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
