You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
