i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
His hands were made for my vagina.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
