I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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