I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
