he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
How does one acquire holy water?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
