I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Randomize
