Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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