where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
