We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize