I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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