there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Buhtt sex?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
