Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
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All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
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I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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