For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
