Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
