Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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