i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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