Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
