We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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