There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
