tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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