Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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