1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
