Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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