Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
