Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
