I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize