Tell her she can't have a vagina
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
