She's JV to your varsity
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize