he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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