idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
