So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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