he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
