I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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