remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
