I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
