that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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