I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
