Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
