Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
