I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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