i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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