did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
