I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
