We're facebook friends in real life
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.