Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes

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  (636): I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes http://tfl.nu/5pzj
  Replies (7) Good night (685) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.

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  (917): So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions. http://tfl.nu/wfn7
  Replies (6) Good night (854) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"

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  (859): i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me" http://tfl.nu/l7cf
  Replies (130) Good night (8424) Bad night (3041) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...

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  (314): I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning... http://tfl.nu/4oxc
  Replies (27) Good night (898) Bad night (4086) Order T-Shirt
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  (936): View more from Texas

  You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.

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  (936): You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that. http://tfl.nu/w7w8
  Replies (18) Good night (1958) Bad night (6444) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.

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  (206): He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful. http://tfl.nu/c0jh
  Replies (29) Good night (893) Bad night (3308) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.

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  (920): He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car. http://tfl.nu/srqw
  Replies (38) Good night (10931) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash

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  (570): So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash http://tfl.nu/zmae
  Replies (3) Good night (695) Bad night (2888) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?

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  (618): I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day? http://tfl.nu/kj71
  Replies (11) Good night (1180) Bad night (3053)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move

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  (732): 4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move http://tfl.nu/7ba1
  Replies (6) Good night (3828) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...

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  (903): I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth... http://tfl.nu/u93t
  Replies (7) Good night (2334) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation

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  (801): stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation http://tfl.nu/ct0r
  Replies (16) Good night (2488) Bad night (1191) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.

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  (603): It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders. http://tfl.nu/0knl
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid

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  (614): We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid http://tfl.nu/h9fh
  Replies (12) Good night (1530) Bad night (527)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday

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  (541): Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday http://tfl.nu/3cvq
  Replies (1) Good night (668) Bad night (189) Order T-Shirt

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