some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
don't judge my taste in strippers
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men