If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
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All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.