Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
