from now on my penis is your penis
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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