1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
