i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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